One Night In a Job Interview
by Mouse and Stupid Productions
Summary: Just how did Rita Skeeter secure her infamous reporter status? How did she get the job that secured her the status? Way too much mead and a great story. Rita, OC, Molly and Arthur


**A/N: They say that you should write what you know. I just couldn't think of different characters for it. Maybe I'll tell you the real story sometime.**

**Disclaimer: I really don't thin Jo did this. Ever. **

"So I see, Mrs"-

"Miss."

"Very well, Miss Skeeter, that you would like to apply for a job at our Daily Prophet. I also see that you have a criminal record. Would you care to explain?"

"That's a funny story, Mr. Jones."

"Well, you want to be a journalist, so I assume you tell a good story. Do tell."

"Well, it happened one night when me and my best mate went out for a pint…"

OOooOOooOOooOO

"Rita!" Rita looked over at her best friend. John stood tall over the crowd at the Leaky Cauldron. She wove through the crowd and reached him at the bar.

"Mead please," she ordered from Tom. He nodded and handed her the mug. John sat back down.

"So…" he stretched. "We're free! We're adults, we're graduated, we're on our own!" He took a sip of his own drink. "How shall we celebrate?" Rita giggled at her friends enthusiasm.

"What would I do without you?" she asked.

"Crawl back down that secret passage way we found in school and hide from the world?" he suggested. She rolled her eyes and whacked him.

"But seriously, how should we celebrate?" Rita considered him. Then she grinned mischievously.

"What do you say we do something we've always wanted to do, but never dared?"

John looked at her smirk. "You want to shag the Weird Sisters too?" he asked. Rita rolled her eyes.

"Sorry. Couldn't help it." He consulted his drink for a moment. "You mean you actually want to break into the Ministry of Magic and go swimming in the fountain of Magical Brethren?" Rita nodded and took a good long drink of her mead. John shot her a wide eyed look and downed the rest of his pint.

"Barkeep! Another round please." Tom filled up his flagon and Rita's. "Are you serious?" he asked, looking deep into Rita's eyes.

"Dead serious," she replied. John whistled.

"Well, if we're gonna do it, we need to be fully schnackered before we do, so we at least have an excuse."

"Cheers!"

An hour and a half later, Tom kicked them out at closing time. They had their arms around each others shoulders and were singing off key songs.

"Buffalo soldier, in the heart of America, stole him from Africa, brought to America," they sang.

"Let's sing something else! The hills are alive, with the sound of music!" John sang.

"With songs they have sung, for a thousand years!" Rita joined him. They waltzed down the London street, unaware that they were being followed by two rather suspicious characters.

They wandered through late night London, across the cobbled stone streets and towards the Ministry of Magic. By the time they had reached the telephone box, they were starting in on the Abba Gold collection.

"Gimme, gimme, gimme a man after midnight, won't somebody help me chase the shadows away," they sang. They crammed themselves into the box, unaware that their two stalkers were still behind them.

"Dial Magic into the phone," John said. "I came here with Dad when I was little." Rita craned her arm a bit and dialed in 62442.

"Welcome to the Ministry of Magic. Please state your names and reasons for visit."

"John McIntyre, Rita Skeeter, top secret Mission." Rita started giggling. John started laughing and as the booth slid them out of sight, they were almost falling over from laughing so hard. As they landed, they tumbled out of the booth, and landed in a heap as it came back up. Still laughing like maniacs, they skipped across the hall, to the fountain.

"Oh Johnny boy, let's swim!" and with that, Rita flung off her robes and fell into the fountain. "It's warm!" she exclaimed. John pulled off his own robes and laid them on the side of the fountain, before falling into the fountain himself.

"What's the betting the Minister for Magic comes in here when no one else is around?" John asked.

"Good," Rita said. They swam around the statues, which turned to look at them, as the phone booth came back down. They didn't notice unfortunately, until it was too late.

As they swam around the statues to face the entrance, two red headed figures were tearing away towards the elevator. It took them a moment to notice why they were running however.

"John! They've got our robes!" Rita exclaimed. They flung themselves out of the fountain and chased after the thieves, who reached the elevator and left before they could catch them.

"Who would steal our robes?" John asked.

"Wrong question. Who would do something mean to us, as a sort of revenge thing? And who would think up leaving us in our underwear at the Ministry of Magic?" They looked at each other and reached the proper conclusion at the same time.

"Molly Prewett and Arthur Weasley." They jumped into the nearest fire and came out in the toilets. They dashed out the door and into the chilled night air.

"Oh, hell!" John said.

"Likewise," Rita said. Gooseflesh had erupted all over their wet bodies. They took off down the street where they could see two dark figures running down the street.

"Oi!" John yelled. The two paused and looked at them.

"Bye bye!" they yelled, and disapperated.

"Fuck," John exclaimed.

"Yeah," Rita agreed.

"Okay. If I were going to steal someone's robes for revenge for numerous pranks over the years at Hogwarts, where would I go once I had those robes?"

"Somewhere public, open and Wizarding?" Rita suggested.

"Hogsmead. Lets go!" His smile faltered. "I left my wand in my robes."

"Men," Rita said, rolling her eyes. She reached up and pulled what John had assumed were chopsticks out of her hair. She stuck one behind her ear and kept the other in hand. "Shall we?" she asked.

"Yeah." They appeared in the windy hills of Hogsmead.

"Damn. If this keeps up, we're gonna catch pneumonia." John nodded in agreement and started walking towards the only open shop on all of high street. The Three Broom Sticks was bustling as ever, even though it was well after two in the morning. They crept up to the windows. There was no sign of Molly or Arthur.

"Hell," John said.

"We'll find them," Rita said. Just then the door opened and Professor Flitwick stepped out.

"Professor!" they called in unison. The little man turned around to find two of his former students clad only in sodden underpants.

"Good gracious!" he squeaked. "Miss Skeeter, Mr. McIntyre! What happened?"

Ignoring his question, John leapt right in. "Professor, you haven't seen Molly Prewett or Arthur Weasley have you?"

"I have indeed. They came into the pub and asked where they might find accommodations in which they could rest that were protected form apparition, outside Hogwarts."

"And what did whoever tell them?" Rita asked.

"The Hogs Head of course. But I advised them to use their own glasses, even if the barkeep is Albus's brother. Well, I hope you two find some clothes. Goodnight." And he apparated away.

They walked over to the Hogs Head, which miraculously still had its light on. Rita pushed the door open and stepped in, followed by John. The barman came out from a room off the bar and took a glance at them in all their shivering, scantly clad glory.

"No robes, shirt or shoes, no service. Now get out," he said in a menacing voice.

"Please couldn't you tell us what room Molly and Arthur Weasley are staying in?" Rita asked.

"Third room on the third floor. Now get out!" They backed out and closed the door.

"Molly and Arthur Weasley? What are they? Engaged?" John asked.

"Yeah," Rita said.

"Wow. Good for them. I wonder what I should get them for their wedding?"

"Oh would you shut up while I try to figure out a way to get us your wand and our clothes back?" Rita said.

"Sorry." They walked around the side of the Inn. A thick growth of ancient gnarled ivy climbed up the face of the building. A light was on in the third floor window and Rita could hear laughing.

"Look, John, there!" she pointed at the window. He nodded.

"Now how do we get up?" he asked. They both eyed the ivy. "I don't think it will hold me," John pointed out. "I'm to big." He tried to push his bare skinny stomach out into a fat mound. It didn't work. "And plus, I don't know shit about climbing." Rita sighed. She grabbed hold of the ivy and started to haul herself up the wall. As she hit the second floor, a loud pop and a louder curse sounded from the ground. She looked down to see two tired Aurors with their wands pointed at John.

"You guys must be on the Minister's shit list if you have to answer the misdemeanors calls," John said. "I mean, it's just an unfortunate and unfulfilling job. I mean, wouldn't you guys rather be out catching some real dark wizards like my dad is- dad?" John exclaimed.

"Son, what are you doing in your underwear at the Hogs Head?" Mr. McIntyre asked. Rita slapped her hand over her face, almost losing her grip.

"It's a funny story dad! You see, Molly and Arthur stole our robes so we had to chase them down and get them back, and we've almost got them." John grinned sheepishly.

"Our, we?" Mr. McIntyre asked.

"Oh, yeah. Rita." He looked and pointed up the wall. Mr. McIntyre's partner shined his wand on her. She waved with her free hand.

"Hi, Mr. McIntyre," she said sheepishly.

"Rita, what are you doing up that wall?" he asked.

"They're in that room," she said, pointing at the brightly lit room above her head. "They've got John's wand," she added.

"What was that noise?" a voice asked from above her.

"Arthur, it sounds like there are people out there!" Suddenly the window above Rita's head was flung open, almost braining her.

"Oi! Watch it!" she yelled on reflex. Arthur looked down.

"Ah! Rita! How did you get up here?" he asked.

"What does it look like? I climbed. Now would you please pull me up before I fall?" she said.

"Right. Sorry." He reached a hand down and hauled her into the room. Molly looked over at her and burst out laughing.

"Can I have my robes back?" she asked weakly. Molly nodded, still laughing. She threw Rita the robes. Rita pulled them on with haste. She grabbed John's robes and leant out the window.

"John!" he looked up and she dropped his robes down to him.

"Thank you!" he called back up.

"Can I speak to you all?" Mr. McIntyre asked.

"Even us?" Molly and Arthur asked, leaning out the window as well.

"Yes. If the three of you would come down here, that would be great." They exited the room and went downstairs. When they reached John, Mr. McIntyre and the other Auror, they fell silent and stood next to John.

"Now, unfortunately, I am going to have to report the four of you. Nothing serious, but definitely a misdemeanor." They looked at him, wide eyed.

"For you two," he pointed to Rita and John, "I have to charge indecent exposure. For you two," he pointed at Molly and Arthur, "I have to report menial theft." They grimaced.

"Now where were you such as your robes were off and they could steal them?" the other Auror asked.

"Just in a Muggle fountain," Rita lied innocently.

"Oh really?"

"Of course, sir. Would I lie to you?" she asked. The Auror gave her the once over, nodded and disapperated.

"Sorry, son. Rita," Mr. McIntyre said. He, too, apparated away.

"Well, that was a fun night," Rita said.

"Yeah," Molly said.

"So are you two really engaged?" John asked. Arthur nodded proudly. John clapped him on the back.

"Congratulations!" John exclaimed.

And the four friends retired back to the Hogs Head for a night of gossip, drinks and general merriment.

OOooOOooOOooOO

"Well, Miss Skeeter, if you tell all your stories like that, then our readers won't be able to put you down. Welcome to the Daily Prophet staff."

"Thank you, sir," Rita said. The editor left. She reached into her bag and pulled out her acid green quill. "Excellent."


End file.
